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From Rejection to Empowerment: My Journey as a Young, Determined Interior Designer to Life Designer
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I made a decision that would change the course of my life, forever…
It is the 18th hour of my day and I am putting the finishing touches on a project to present to the President and the board. As the youngest Associate Director of a multi-million dollar Architectural Company, at only 25, I was feeling the pressure of the World! Although I knew my design was on point and I was well prepared, I wanted it to be just right!
I pushed myself hard since I was eager to succeed and thrive in a masculine world. I was aware that I was very determined and competitive. Some of that stemmed from growing up with a brother close in age and a dad who was inattentive. So I sought approval from many places.
Despite the sleepless nights, I showed up with enthusiasm and pride to present my ideas. And I still do. The President and the Board seemed quite impressed. Suddenly someone barges in. It’s the wife of the president herself, who decided to visit unexpectedly. She took a seat at the long, oval, mahogany table. I will never forget all of the carvings on the edge. As this woman stands up, she utters these words…”I don’t like this…” And with a flick of her voice, the design was overturned.
My heart dropped and so did my colleague’s chin across the table. I had spent months of research, and timeless hours drawing and interviewing the client to create a project that was in line with the client’s vision for his office and employees. I found myself nervously rubbing my finger on the table’s edge, in the hopes that it would ease my stress. It didn’t help.
The rejection felt personal. My childhood belief of not being enough started to bubble to the surface.
I felt misjudged, insulted, and indignant! I was in disbelief… This woman – who had absolutely no idea about the basis for many of the design decisions nor had any design training, was judging my work.
I thought, “How can someone so ill-informed overturn the project? They probably had a fight and he just wants to please her… at my expense!”
Designing My New Future
That day, everything changed! First, I had to address my feelings of inferiority and self-worth. And secondly, I got clear that I didn’t care for things that are superficial and arbitrary. The definition of these values was crucial, if not, vital to leading me along a path steeped in purpose.
It turned out that the rejected project was a gift in disguise. The tormenting questions about my future started to haunt me. Yet, the ever-curious, headstrong, determined young woman would not be swayed. I continued the self-development studies I had started in my early 20s and went even deeper. I devoured anything related to personal transformation: works of psychology masters, the world of Werner Erhardt, and the words of Kahil Gibran.
I start seeing a psychotherapist. At Toastmasters, I made an unconventional presentation – I went bonkers and made a fool of myself. I was so authentic and irreverent that I won the contest! Later, I led 5 of their Public Speaking Chapters! My confidence soared and I start to finally feel alive and clear about my future…
“My focus turned to help others to better understand themselves, from inside out, so that they could find their own sense of belonging and purpose.”
It’s 1989, a year or so after that boardroom disaster. Now, I’m married to my husband John and we are moving to the United States.
I feel excited to start fresh. A brand new canvas that I could paint just the way I’d started to dream. I had the full support of John, who said “I really want to see you do what makes you happy.” I was motivated! I chose then to get new credentials and became a Social Worker!
“For me and many of my clients, diving into our creative pool – which can include drawing a stick figure or painting – is so healing, loving, and transformative.”
“Working with Alyse has shown me a wonderful new holistic side of therapy that is mind, body, and soul-based.”
Embracing the Messiness of Life
After a few years of working in the mental health field, I realized I wanted to find more alternatives to help people heal and grow. I realized that the system used to treat mental illness and addiction was not effective enough, at least to my standards. I could see through years and years of studying all kinds of healing that there were other options!
Weaving in other modalities with traditional psychotherapy allows clients to progress way faster. This includes EMDR, energy techniques, Kabbalah Healing, and creative avenues. Needless to say… the system prefers to keep the sick, sick; it is good for business… but I could not be a part of that!
It’s been over 30 years since I started my own cutting-edge psychotherapy private practice. And throughout the years I continue my self-development studies and furthered my accolades which include Life Coaching and Business Coaching.
I have worked with hundreds of psychotherapy clients with many issues including sexual abuse, trauma, loss, relationship challenges, mental health conditions, and coaching around the next steps.
We must accept who we are – warts and all as we age – otherwise, we’ll keep living in fear and making the other the enemy or hero. Healing means going inside and doing a deep dive, embracing the full spectrum of our humanity – the good and the evil that’s inside of all of us.
“I have done lots of transformational work and Alyse’s process is very different and helps you understand more about yourself in a nonthreatening manner. I would say “speak to Alyse if you want more out of your life! Time is moving quickly and this is your time! Don’t waste another minute. I know I won’t.”
Marie, Health Care Field
Credentials
Master’s Degree in Social Work from Stony Brook University
4-year certification in Gestalt Therapy
Certified Corporate Business Coach
Certified Money Marketing and Soul Coach
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional
Intentional Creativity Coach
Color of Women Teacher
Mediation
Non-dual Kabbalah Healing
Brain Gym
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Treatment)
Reiki Tummo
And too many more to list!
Empowering Women in Business: 25+ Years of Giving Back with SCWBEC
For over 25 years, I have given back to women in our community through being on the Board of director and past chair at SCWBEC (Suffolk County Women’s Business Enterprise Coalition).
The SCWBEC Network is a group based in Long Island, NY that aims to support and empower women- and minority-owned businesses. The organization offers resources and networking opportunities to help members grow and succeed in their industries. Membership is open to all business owners, regardless of gender or minority status, who support the organization’s mission.
If you’d like to join me there, please reach out and I will be happy to introduce you!
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