What’s it like when you experience days in a row when everything you touch goes so well? Finding a different perspective isn’t on your radar screen. There’s lots of favorable opportunities and successful projects. You seem to have time to see your friends and family. Plus everyone is getting along.
Then at other times life feels frustrating and some version of empty. You can’t seem to find good opportunities, your projects aren’t working out. Stress is constant and interrupting your sleep. You reach out for comfort foods.
Wow, does this ring a bell right now! Many of us are working from home with Covid nipping at our heels. And here in the US, it’s weeks away from a very important election.
Each day you’re often unaware of how many opposites you endure. There’s some great news and then 10 minutes later somethings sparks disappointment. You can fluctuate between feeling fabulous and crappy, anxious and full of focus.
You do your best to reset your expectations. Alas, you discover that your kid is sick. The dog is throwing up. A client who was ready to say yes is making excuses. Your mom is calling for the second time this morning. Now you’re trying to hold it all together.
Consider a third option – finding a different perspective
It’s hard to describe what this third option is, where you allow opposite feelings simultaneously. When you allow the opposites to exist in the same space, then a third thing can arise. It may be a mixture of both feelings or something totally different.
The reason to consider a third option is to stop you getting trapped or lost by polarizing thoughts and feelings, which can take their toll on your mood and work efficiency.
Here’s how to work with the third option.
Imagine that you’re holding one feeling in one hand and the opposite feeling in your other hand. Examples could include pain and pleasure, anxious and peaceful, patient and impatient.
You could also think about how you feel in our tense political climate. No matter where you’re on the spectrum, by allowing yourself to hold opposite viewpoints you have the chance to better understand someone else who has a different opinion. In other words, you might find another perspective.
You may even be able to have a more fruitful conversation with a family member who has a very different opinion.Take a few minutes to breathe slowly and see what transpires.
At the beginning of practicing to hold opposites, feeling uncomfortable is normal. Be gentle with yourself as it may take a lot of practice, to even allow competing ideas to blend together.
And, you may even feel more peace.