The search for perfection will keep you stuck in the mousetrap. It’s a never-ending search for the best way, the right solution, as if there’s an ultimate perfect answer.
If you would like a surefire way to feel shame, then keep aiming for perfection. For 99.9% of us, perfection as a standard is simply unattainable. So why do we keep aiming for such an impossible state.
What is perfection?
It is defined as the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.
We can’t be perfect because we are imperfect beings.
We are raised by parents who are inherently imperfect. I am not just referring to abusive, violent, or destructive households. Even the most well intentioned parents make mistakes through their own imperfections. They parent us imperfectly through their own flaws. Is there anyone you know who had perfect parenting?
Our relationship to perfection.
Parents often put demands on a child to be perfect to alleviate their own suffering and lack of wholeness. Demands come in many different forms and generally the child feels some version of not being accepted. What then makes us think that we can even understand what perfection is?
Yet society seems to demand a standard of perfection in what we say, what we do and who we are. A standard of perfection leads to so much unhappiness, disillusionment, and downright self-sabotage. We keep seeking the perfect partner, perfect living arrangements, perfect work, etc.
As we seek perfection we come up against our very imperfection. Facing our imperfection is hard, and we seek ways to ignore, hide, or distract ourselves.
Seeking perfection often:
- Stop us from even trying
- Limits experimentation
- Blocks creativity
- Leads to one track thinking
- Keep us trapped in feeling not good enough
- Encourages procrastination
Interestingly, I never knew why the French rarely speak English. I thought they were just rude. After living in France for a year, I came to understand that unless they could speak English “perfectly” they would not let on that they knew some English. I never held the same standard of perfection for myself. My goal was to do my best to speak French and bungle my way through trying to be understood. My goal was anything but perfection!
We can redefine perfection as a state of being imperfectly perfect, because we are all flawed. Being human means being flawed. The more we come to know, understand and accept our flaws the kinder and gentler we can be to ourselves and others.
Do your best! Stop aiming for perfection, whatever the hell that means.
P.S.>>>> I love hearing your comments. There’s space below.