We all make mistakes – big and small.
Some have huge ramifications and others are annoying.
Hey I sent out an email with a link that went nowhere. Now that’s annoying. My apologies if you tried clicking it.
A plane going down through pilot error is another story.
This past week, I made what we may consider a meaningful mistake. It got me thinking about what making a mistake means.
I looked up synonyms for the word “mistake” and it helps to clarify what making a mistake means. I’ve divided them up into three categories …
1. Oops
- omission, slip, blunder
Often when we make a mistake we do it unintentionally or we wouldn’t call it a mistake. It usually takes someone calling us out to recognize the impact.
2. Logical reasoning
- miscalculation, fault, error, inaccuracy, flaw, fallacy
A plane going down, a train derailment, or product defect are good examples in this category.
3. Difference in perspective
- misunderstanding, oversight, misinterpretation
This last category is the most salient aspect of mistake making. We see things from a different viewpoint due to our own history, experiences and beliefs.
Years ago in my first career as an interior designer, I recall working on a project for a major law firm. That may sound great.
Except two law firms were merging. We had already done stage 1 of the project a year earlier. In stage 2, the client contact told me to use existing tatty, furniture for the brand new offices for the incoming merged staff.
As you can imagine, the incoming merged staff felt pretty dismissed. They had to make do with the old stuff while the existing staff had much newer furniture.
I had no control over this poor corporate decision making. And when my boss, visited the site, he thought it was funny showing me a photo of my image in the middle of a dart board. I felt humiliated, sad and misunderstood.
That’s an example of how a huge mistake may or may not always be in our control and other people take offense. It falls under the category of difference in perspective. My highest choice would have been new modern furniture into the bold renovation. The incoming staff would have felt valued and part of the team.
When making mistakes hurt
What hurts is when we take an action that hurts someone else and we don’t mean for that to happen. In fact, from our perspective it may not even be a mistake. We may be following someone else’s instructions. We may be setting a boundary, saying no with kindness or expressing an opinion.
The listener hears and sees what we say or do differently. They take in through their own experience and see through their own eyes.
Let’s borrow an apt title from a movie which I very much enjoyed; LOST IN TRANSLATION.
Lost in translation
When a situation gets lost in translation, remember that there’s 3 alternatives. Your intention, their understanding and often a third thing that can be a combination of both.
As human beings, we will continue to make mistakes. All we can do is our best and sometimes our best is not enough.
With love,
Alyse