Do you ever experience feeling misunderstood and wonder why?
You think that you’re speaking your own language. Whereas the other person is hearing something completely different. You’re feeling misunderstood.
I may think that I’m speaking to another English speaker, and that I’m being clear. Eek! The reply or look on the person’s face let’s me know I wasn’t heard.
There’s so many different things that impact whether our communication lands. Our past experiences, our history, mood, beliefs, the location, competing sounds and the big one – ARE YOU PRESENT?
Are you Present?
As the speaker, are you being mindful or are you distracted?
Is the listener in a receptive mode and present in mind and body and spirit?
Communication is a complex 2 way layered process. There’s the obvious words that you hear, the how you say it and body language. Underneath there’s the meta message, where our unconscious also responds to the communication.
4 Essential Communication Tips & Stop Feeling Misunderstood
Here’s some suggestions so you’re clear and the other person is more likely to hear you:
💬 If you want the other person to hear you, take full responsibility for the way you communicate. Make sure that you’re in your body and not a disembodied talking head. We don’t want Mr Potato heads talking to each other, even though I have nothing against potatoes. You’re then more likely to say what you really think and feel.
💬 Consider the other person. How can you frame your message so they will respond best? E.g., if they’re a bottom line person, then don’t give them loads of details.
💬 Give a full communication, especially in a heated situation. Short cuts like, “You’re mean, cut it out, don’t do that,” don’t work. A full communication includes:- the facts- what you feel- what you think- a request
💬 As the listener, LISTEN! Listening doesn’t mean formulating your answer before the speaker has finished.
If you’d like more suggestions with specific situations, contact me. I have helped many clients over the years deal with heated scenarios and feel heard.